When to Give More, Charge More, or Walk Away: Lessons from 30+ Years of Facilitation

An organization I last worked with in 2021 recently asked me to facilitate a strategic planning process. This opportunity, arising from the success of the earlier project, got me reflecting on my relationships with clients and the decisions I make along the way.

 Here are few stories, musings, and lessons from my facilitation career.

 💯 💙 Give wholeheartedly, and you may receive even more in return.

The client mentioned above had a limited budget for an online World Café community session. Although experienced in online facilitation, I had never facilitated a World Café online.

 I believed in the organization's services, welcomed the challenge, and accepted the project at a significantly reduced fee. I invested considerable effort in designing the session.

It went wonderfully! Five years later, the organization has returned with a more extensive process and a larger budget.

 ❗ 😢 You don't always "win." When you don't, give something of value.

I facilitated a day-long leadership team session that seemed successful, with active participation, insightful conversations, laughter, and clear next steps. Participants expressed satisfaction during our closing conversation.

 However, two weeks later, the Executive Director shared her dissatisfaction.

 Rather than defend my approach, I asked for more feedback, listened, and thanked her for her candour.

 I reduced my fee by 20%. Offering a free session likely would not have been accepted, while charging nothing would have diminished the value of my services and discounted the positive feedback from others.

 Was 20% right? It felt right to me. Every facilitator must find their own comfort level.

 💲 ❓ Ask for more money? Be comfortable with your decisions.

Sometimes I provide additional services without additional compensation.

If I underestimate a project's complexity or time requirements, that's on me. I don't ask for more money.

If a client requests additional work without recognizing the effort involved, I have a decision to make.

For significant changes, such as extending a session from one day to two, I request an increased fee. But if I spend extra time pondering and writing a report because I want to do my best work, I typically don't.

My decisions depend on questions such as:

🔹 Will I feel resentful or satisfied with my decision?

🔹 Am I providing the best service I can?

🔹 How much do I enjoy the client and the work?

🔹 What is the potential for future work?

 🧍 🙆‍♀️ Trust your body.

A churning gut. A tingling sensation in my neck. A sense of unease or comfort.

I've learned to pay attention to these physical signals when working with clients. They're not always right, but they're worth listening to.

 These are a few stories and lessons that immediately came to mind.

After more than three decades of facilitating, I'm still learning about the relationships, decisions, and judgment calls involved in working with clients.

 What lessons have you learned from working with clients? I'd love to hear your stories.